My day with Wilder

Because of a really funky night of sleep on the evening of the full moon supermoon, I felt cranky and slow to start the other day. Truth be told, my little peanut in the belly was moving around so much when I was laying down in bed, I didn’t want to miss a second and ended up just starting out the window at the full moon enjoying the motions. Well I think I finally fell asleep somewhere around 3am, and still was up with the family around 7:30 in the morning. 

In the morning, and throughout a good portion of the day, Wilder’s energy and enthusiasm felt so stimulating to me. To the point of thinking I couldn’t handle it multiple times. We had a planned trip to town together to run errands and get some supplies for his halloween costume. So after breakfast we got ourselves ready and headed out. Car rides are always smooth with us, Wilder loves listening to music and gets really into whatever he requests that I put on. 

Wilder drumming on the chopping blocks with chopsticks - newly appointed activity for enthusiasm in the kitchen moments.

Wilder drumming on the chopping blocks with chopsticks - newly appointed activity for enthusiasm in the kitchen moments.

Really it was his level of energy and enthusiasm for everything he wanted to do and just life in general that felt so intense for me. He wasn’t doing anything wrong, he was just purely being himself. And my normal self is pretty enthusiastic, so I can completely see where he gets it from. I mean sometimes it’s silly how similar he is to me, but totally makes sense. 

This day got me thinking about how when we’re feeling off, we can squash our child’s spirit or take our emotions out on them so easily. It took absolutely everything I had in me to stay present with my boy and stay in my loving nature throughout the day, and I could feel so many times how easy it would be to just snap and flip out for really no reason at all. And how often are people/parents not feeling their own version of 100%? It’s so rare for me to have a completely off day like this, that I feel like it shakes me to my core. I want to stay with my experience and be present to the vulnerability that I’m feeling, but I also have to stay strong to be there for my child.

I often see jokes and memes on the internet about how mothers don’t get days off. Man is that ever true! Even on complete sick days or moon days, I have to be there for my child and nurture him to the best of my abilities. I am so grateful for the gift of motherhood, there are so many opportunities to practice our strength through any circumstance.