Update to this blog post!
We started the night weening process the same day I posted this advice/tips I collected. We decided that Frank would wake up with Sunny if he stirred in the night. After the 2nd night, we realized that Sunny would be better off falling asleep without milk, in order to not wake up searching for a nipple.
For the first few nights, Frank got up at least once, he'd go to the boy's room and pick up Sunny where he would fall back asleep within a minute or two on his shoulder. After around 2 weeks of this, Sunny started consistently sleeping through the night. He loves our bedtime routine time and gets excited about it now. If the papa doesn't hear baby wake up during the night, I wouldn't get frustrated. They aren't designed to jump out of bed or jolt up at the sound of a cry, the mothers are. The mother may need to nudge papa to get up when she hears the baby wake. Just know it's temporary and will only take a few nights in the grand scheme of things!
Yesterday I shared a post about Night Weening with Sunny, explaining that it's quite tiring to get through this stage, and opened it up for anyone to comment with their tips. This morning I went to check and see if their were any responses and basically plowed through reading everything very teary eyed. People really shared their genuine advice and some really sweet loving tips. I feel so honored that so many of you shared such beautiful messages!
Since there were so many varied responses and situations from around the globe, I wanted to combine what I read today and share it here. From both Facebook and Instagram, I had 75 tips to combine!
Usually doesn’t take more than a few nights in my experience! I haven’t slept in 7 years can hardly form sentences half the time..I was thinking of trying to wean my almost 1 year old at night it’s early but I’d feel bad when it’s teething time so I’ll keep it up for another year most likely hopefully she’ll sleep better as time goes on!
Hang in there!
Oh my goodness, I am Day weaning. Because I cannot even fathom going through what it will take to night wean. 😳😳. This process isn’t easy. And mine has only slept through the night 2 times in the last 2+years. Yeah, this parenting thing isn’t for the faint of heart.
the only way I ever night weaned was leaving for 5 nights with my girl friends and leaving Jasper with my partner…lol.
I left for a few nights in a row and he was over it at 2.5 years old.
It took me three attempts of months long to wean my little one. It’s really exhausting. Consistency is key and lots of naps when you can
I don’t remember it taking all that long. I think night weaning was the last to go for mine. I think we weaned during the day after their second birthday. Then night time followed much easier.
we weaned by the Farmers Almanac and it worked like a charm 😘https://www.farmersalmanac.com/calendar/best-days/parenting/wean/
😭 I bet it’s so hard! I’m crossing my fingers Llewyn self weens but so far he only wants booby milk!
Aauumm. I was so lucky with zen.. it only took 2 nights... I just told her she can have teta when abuelo sol comes up... first night was 45 min of her crying in a crib then next night a few minutes then sleep thru the night... she was 14 moons... shifted my world... blessings mama
When my Cylas would wake up, daddy would comfort him back to sleep. We found the only was to night ween was to let him know that dad can also offer nurturing support. Good luck!
The No Cry Sleep Solution helped us with this immensely. I didn't even realize that's what we were doing, it just seemed to happen naturally as a result of using her gentle methods. So glad I came across that book! It's by Elizabeth Pantley.
I was a ween failure 😂 She owned my boobs until she was 3 and I stopped nursing and still is all over them at 4.5....and still doesn't sleep through the night.
I never did any weaning but send you tons of monetary jumps in energy right when you need them most ( . ) ( . )
For us the only way was for me to sleep in the other room and leave our little one in the arms of her loving Papa. No way she would have given up if I was there next to her. It took 3 nights. I was so incredibly exhausted after 16 months of hardly any good sleep!! So night weaning was the first step. I continued feeding during the day past 2 years. It was such an amazing shift when everyone started to get sleep!!
Oh maaaaannn! I went through some shit weaning with number two. I did it around 2.5 and was all over the place, from just at night, to just at day, to timed sessions, to finally realizing I needed to just pull the trigger and let go of the whole thing! Total mental and physical struggle though as I wrestled with all the feelings of guilt and nursing stress combined. Sorrel still rubs and holds my “mamma milkies“ at night which helps me feel like he is getting some of what he needs without the actual sucking and we have raw milk available to him on request throughout the night. In a perfect cultural society I would have had the mammas around me and the whole community to support me to keep going till he self-weaned, buuuuuuutttt... I don’t live in that culture and have to make decisions that work for me and the babes in THIS jacked up culture! Not sure if this rant of mine will be helpful at all but if you need to vent about any of it, I’m here for you!
I have heard of people singing a special night milky song and that helping and telling them milky needs sleeps.
We had to have nathan go to our son at night and then he would fall asleep it if I was there he could smell the milk and wouldn't sleep. Took a week and he was weaned.
I have no advice, as I am here, sleep deprived with a boob addicted 19month old. But I just have to say I absolutely love this picture of Sunny!
Are you co sleeping? I found that Suzy had to be in her own sleeping space to night wean. And I just gradually increased the time that I would let her fuss on her own before responding. She started by dropping one feed and then completely (night) weaning about a week after that. I think the whole process took about two weeks. If you want to keep co sleeping ultimately, I would spend a couple nights sleeping away from him just while he weans. Good luck! I’m tossing some sleepy dust your way.
We had Shawn comfort Autumn when she woke up instead of me. The first night was a lot of waking up and like 45 min stretches of being awake. Second night she only woke up like twice for short periods of time. Third night was bliss and we all slept. It was the best thing for all of us because it was just a waking pattern at that point and not that she actually needed the boob. Everything was better when we all started sleeping through the night!! I wish you so much success with this!!
I was so stressed about weening my little but she just eventually weened herself, I'm so thankful it was an easy slow process. She was a little over 2 when she self weened. Your doing all of the things everyone told me when I was asking for advice on weening. The hugging and singing back to sleep. I also heard to let your spouse be the one to get them back to sleep. Hope this helps! Sending good vibes ur way that this will be a gentle process for u both!
Have you guys read the book “Sally weans from night nursing”? It was really helpful for my kids.
It takes around 3 days for children to understand a new pattern or adopt a new behavior they said so you are almost there!!!! (Not sure it’s true but hopefully it’s encouraging!) 😆 also he will sleep better himself going into deeper circles of sleep with more hours between wakes.
We moved our little one out of our bed into her own and it helped alot. I think not being so close to the source helped! It will get better! Good luck Momma!
I pretty much did what you are doing now with all 3 of mine. Took about 4-5nights. Good luck mama you got this! 💜💜
No no, night weening was super tough, but after a few days Makani was waking up less and less. He actually slept through the night for awhile before his last set of molars came through! Keep it up!
If possible have Dad go in to soothe (rub back) Little one will be mad but I found it easier than being in the room and not letting my daughter nurse. I think it was easier on her too. She's 20 months and we started doing that a couple months ago. Never did cry it out and she settles herself now. Hope that helps!
When I weaned my son at age 2 I always told him “nah nahs” were going night night. Back then I usually relied on a movie to have him fall asleep while we snuggled instead. Told him that he could have “nah nahs” when the sun came up and too cuddle mama, and always wore something that didn’t have easy access for him to get his little hands in there. I was surprised how easily it went for how attached he was to it. Of course it took a little time and it helped getting him focused on something else and keeping busy outside in the daytime. Your journey will run its course and you’ll find out what’s right for you and your little Sunny🌞
I followed a 9 day attachment based night weaning system. There was no 'crying it out'. Yes, there were lots of tears, but they weren't alone. I can't remember the exact formula but you basically gave them less and less comforting each night. Yes, it was exhausting and hard, but by the end of 9 days they were night weaned.
If Papa can help with the soothing at night that helps a lot.
Google "sleep, changing patterns in the family bed by Jay Gordon". He breaks down his night weaning system towards the end of the article. It worked amazingly for us!
Jay Gordon night weaning is really helpful, as is "milkies go night night" and sleeping in a crew neck shirt (😂).
The story books about night weaning helped us a lot. Lots of talk about how everyone sleeps at night even milky and how there are always hugs and snuggles even when milky is resting. You got this!!! 💪🏼😴💓
We are just weaning our Abby who just turned 2...I sent her downstairs to the guest room with her dad..she cried at first, not long (less then 10min) and only a few times a night...then after 3 days she stopped crying and now it’s been 12days and she has slept through the night the last few nights. If I was with her she would just scream and scream and not sleep so with dad she is comforted and then she gets me in the morning. Thanks for sharing your story❤️
I’m in the same boat! Tonight is night 4 for me as well. I want sleep.
Last night was night #1 of trying again with my River girl. This time daddy slept next to her instead of me and it went really well, fingers crossed. It’s intense!
With me I was a single mum, and every article I read on night weaning said to have dad sleep with babe. Lol
Ahh! I just started this too! We cosleep so when my bud wakes up instead of nursing I hug him very tight and sing a song, or talk about something he loves, or say what we're grateful for in a very rhythmic sing song way. It has been going very smooth. One week in : )
We co-slept and my babies nursed all night long until we night weaned both at 11 mo. Both times we transitioned by having Daddy co-sleep with them and I started sleeping in another bed for awhile. It worked well with both!
This too shall pass!!!
It's all about give him to daddy. That's what we did!
I started night weaning my son in December of last year, right before he turned 2, when we found out I was pregnant. Cuddle, sing, talk to him, rub his back, offer water, and stuffed animals. Try wearing not so easy clothing for him to get to you and for him to be reminded(for the time being). Just have to wait it out. It's rough at first but consistency is key. Took mine about a week to get adjusted. He started just waking up once a night afterwards for a little while, and now he sleeps through the night. 💛
Cutting down on middle of the night feeds started when she was almost two, I would just let her know that Mama was right here, and I would ask to hold her hand, and then she would cry for a couple of minutes and fall back to sleep. Leading up to cutting off the initial nighttime nursing (getting her to go to sleep,) you I let her know she can have a little from each side, and each night I'd cut the time shorter and shorter until "mama has no more milk." So I would hold her hand if she wanted, I will make up a story and just talk until she falls asleep, I'll sing. Some nights she just falls asleep all on her own. When she wakes up in the middle of the night now, I still just say, mama is here, and I hold her hand and make sure she is covered, and she will go back to sleep. Now, potty training brings a whole new reason for getting up in the middle of the night! We are nursing no more as of Christmas night, and I've got baby #2 due in a few weeks. I was sad to end that phase with my first baby,but needed at least some amount of time to not be nursing!
I tried night weaning zt 16 months and it resulted in long sleepless nights for everyone and clogged ducts for me. A few months later, I day weaned and kept nursing at night and to fall asleep/wake up for naps. Then i weaned at night (without partner help. Just put a long sleeved shirt on and snuggled/patted etc) and it was waaaay easier. We still nursed to sleep/wake up and then eventually weaned off that too. Good luck! It will always be rough, but be open to the idea that what you are trying might not actually be easier. Then try something else!
So hard but it will (eventually) work just gotta be strong. I night weaned my 2.5 year old and 8 months later he still has to hold my "drinks" 😩
I just put up a post of my love-not love of breastfeeding a toddler I tend to set a time for myself, like we won't nurse until 3am and stick to that. It only takes a few nights and really he probably cried for less than 2 min in my snuggly arms before he passes out. But yes, up every 30sec-8min until one night he sleeps all until 3am! Usually takes a week tops. Then a few months later I push back 2 more hours... But then he gets sick and I'm back to night nursing and honestly so grateful to do it. Dad's useless to me 😂 he is gone half the time as a paramedic and sleeps in another room when he is home...I couldn't bare to have my snuggle buddy crying down the hall 💔 oh, and to avoid him nipple tweaking for comfort (my least favorite of all nursing habits) I kiss his hands and hold them gently, seems to help at night. PS, I'm nursing while writing this
Successfully nightweaned as a solo mama even though he still wakes up and still asks everytime almost two years later 🙄
I 100% made the huz get up with him @threelilymama and remember how it was with your first? Ya, me neither. It will all be over soon. 😅
I gave my little one water when he was night weening. Good luck!
I've been struggling to ween Everett. Maya called me out for not sticking to my rule because she sees it's making me a bit crazy. I'm going to have to take some of this advice! Thanks
I’ve been told that if you wake up in the night and fall asleep within 3 minutes you’re brain won’t register waking up and you won’t remember it in the morning. This has been my mantra when night weening my girl.
It took her about a month to not wake up crying for Nenne in the middle of the night. Now she throws her tantrum at tooth brushing instead (since she knows it means no more nursing for the night), it’s progress but still a struggle.
Daddies are great for night weening. He can do the snuggling and rocking and walking back to sleep while you work through your milk letting down and wanting to nurse too.
I brought a water bottle to bed with us and would offer that. But mostly it just took time and patience and snuggles.
The hubs got up at night with my daughter and we made sure she didn’t know I was an option. This was 22 years ago though. It will get better:)
We told him what to expect (reminded him each night before sleep) and my husband tended to him when he work at night. Held, rocked, comforted. (I was too tired to say no!)
We night weaned Torin around the same age as Sunny by me sleeping in the guest bedroom one night while my partner comforted him. Then I went out of town for 3 nights and he was totally fine when I came back. We all still co sleep and he never went back to night nursing. Good luck momma! It’s tough at first but the added sleep is so worth it!
I told my little that milk is only for the day time and when the moon is away
I just night weaned my now 22 month old. It was a tough few nights but we made it through. Lots of snuggling on our end too. Although my little one still wakes up 3 to 4 times a night. What can you do
Night weaning was bittersweet. I nursed throughout my entire second pregnancy, but chose to night wean halfway through. My daughter was almost 3. What had given her comfort on demand for her entire life was being denied, and it was so hard and sad for her. However, we persevered. I found practicing during the day helped by talking through a dialogue and acting out what we would do if she woke asking to nurse. Cold turkey with a “no nursing” rule was really hard on her, so we agreed she could nurse while we counted to 20, then she hold me and lay on my chest but not nurse and I’d cuddle her and sing her to sleep. We also had a phrase “we can nurse when the sun comes up” and that helped too. There were many tears. (Hers and mine!) And it took awhile. But she did it. And looking back I think it was one of the hardest things for both of us emotionally, for many reasons, but we persevered. There’s also a book called Nursies When The Sun Shines that features an older nursling... I wish you the best during this milestone!
@threelilymama I gotta say, I'm tandem nursing a 6m old and a night weaned 20 month old, and the milkies go night night thing works even when we bedshare!
I’ve seen people put bandaids on their nipples.
We had night weaned Lif before I got pregnant again and basically just told him the boobies were asleep and they would be awake in the morning. It was a rough week or so of him waking up yelling and crying for it but we would calmly just repeat "the boobies are asleep until morning"... and he actually adapted and accepted it pretty quickly I thought... It was definitely less than two weeks. Hopefully it will shift for you really soon. Sending hopes for restful nights... and in the meantime, restful naps ❤️
@threelilymama My husband (dada) slept next to our son instead of me being next to him) for night weaning (he was just over 2.5 yrs old.) But it was great b/c I wasn't next to him so he couldn't smell it and it wasn't Kim torturing him. And he got to snuggle and sleep with dada which they both needed and loved. But it was still so hard for me to hear his cries. But luckily it only lasted a few days and each night was better than the previous. 💗 Lots of luck and love mama
Thank you to all the awesome parents in this post. I am about to commit to weaning my 21 month old because my supply has dropped in the last couple of months since my period returned. It's such a big thing to decide....combination of new freedoms with grief.
I’m in the same boat, trying to wean my 1.5 year old. Good luck Mama!
My son took 3 days and it was the hardest thing ever! I BF him for two years! Tried earlier but we were not ready. I held him tight when he would wake and gave extra snuggles during the day. We talked about it a lot too as he was a big boy and didn’t need it anymore. He eventually forgot about it and we survived. Sleeping through the night is the best! Good luck and it will be over soon enough 😀
I let it unfold naturally. No pressure. When they were done, they were done.
Hang in there, mama! Outside really helped us. No matter the hour or weather, we would bundle up and go - in a carrier, stroller, car whatever. It often would flip their "now I'm tired switch.”
I nightweened my eldest son at around two and a half. By that time he was already in his own bed at night (by his own choice btw) and still visiting our bed for his nursing moment and then spending the rest of the night in our bed. We stopped the nursing but still let him come to our bed in the night. That went quite effortlessly. I don't even really remember any struggles. My youngest is I believe two months younger than Sunny. He still enjoys his night and day time nursing. I don't know when that will stop. Probably before two and a half. Although our babies is amazing, it can be exhausting too, right? ❤
i never weaned or night weaned, it just happened. it's almost over darling. much love ❤️🦄💪
Keep doing what your doing. Consistency is important. It should get better in a couple days. I night weaned both of my kids around age 2
@threelilymama is it common that babies called breasts/milk Nah nah? My 8 month old has started doing it.
When I knew it was time for my daughter to night wean (for better sleep for us both) we talked a lot about the moon. I would tell her, when the moon comes out -- even when we cannot see her, mama's 'meemees' have gone to rest for the night. Soon, instead of asking to drink her 'meemees' once it got dark, she would tuck my shirt over them and kiss them goodnight. She would cry a little, and I would hold her and we created a new bond at night. So bittersweet. You're so close. Keep pushing forward. I wrote in a journal a lot around times that I weaned. Every time my child was an active older toddler, and it was an emotional experience to close a chapter on. Hugs!! 💙